Bawk... bawk... bawk

 








I played in a great tournament last night...well I entered into a great tournament last night. I don't know what the word for my brain dead play was -I Dunno -  Let's call it chicken.

Not only did I play terrible, I made excuses for my moronic preflop fold with AK suited and my idiotic fold to a flopped Jack ragged board with a suited AJ hand....on the button no less. I didn't even raise it preflop...Doh!

Ive been off my game on occasion...so I thought until now.
Last night I wasn't off my game, I was off my rocker.

Explain it?  Let me try. Was it my FREE entry fee? No, I don't think so. Was it because I sat with players that I wasn't familiar with?  Perhaps. Was I scared. Yes, like a 15 year old on her first date.

Why?  What was I scared of ? I just don't know.... I balked, I just balked.
Balk balk balk like a chicken...early tourney, cards coming and I balked. Later on, great cards... balked...

How am I going to fix it?

Next time I play like this, I am going to get up from the table, flip my hands under my armpits and walk around the room 'strutin and 'balkin like a chicken...

It might be worth your while to be there.

Balk.. balk.... balk....

I'm a DONKEY and I know it...

Been around any DONKEY poker players lately?

I think we have all been the DONKEY sometime or other in our poker lifetime.

Usually when we are starting out, we are all a little clueless to reading a board or not giving consideration to what the other player might have verses that big ole Ace (rag) in our own hand.

Along the way, a  few thousand dollar lessons later with some belittling remarks from Tiltees thrown in, we learn to UNDONKEY. We were DONKEYS and didn't know it...

Most of us learn fast....please pay close attention to the word most...

Are there others who enjoy being the DONKEY?

I'm not sure. If there are, is it because of the rush they get from being a 'temporary' chip leader or all that attention (albeit negative) that they get from their peers?

Maybe somewhere in their little donkey minds, they feel that they really know how to play the game...

I try not to be a DONKEY. Sometimes I really try to stay away from a DONKEY. Other times I welcome a  DONKEY at the table. I want that call... I want that re-raise...I really don't know why,  because most times

 I cannot beat a DONKEY...

I wonder if being part DONKEY would help MY game?

Oh no...I'm starting to think like an ASS....

When nature calls...flush vs flush

Sitting in a big game and the cards are coming when suddenly you have to make a visit to the bathroom.

You can't leave but you must!

Worse? Short stacked, waiting for a hand, blinds are crucifying your stack and there's only six at your table and you are on the bubble.

Worse? You are a woman and you can't just whiz out the door or a window or in your empty soda pop bottle, not insinuating for one second that any of you men do this.

Worse? Number two. Of course number two will send any male or female running no matter what you have in your hand.

Sure, you can wait around for just one more hand but sometimes it's gonna cost ya... I bet there's more than one story out there...

You can have all the priorities you want in Poker, but when Nature calls, she'll set you straight...

The Loser Within

When it comes to being "on your game", many things factor in. You have to (or should) be well rested, well nourished and poker zoned.

Playing a near perfect game for two solid hours takes patience and discipline. Along comes the gravy hand and it is not as smooth as planned. Yours has lumps...


You go from "on your game" to on your way out of the tournament. You haven't gotten to the point in Poker where you should accept your beaten and lay down the hand and move along the way you've been doing.

Just because you finally got a playable hand doesn't guarantee a win. Keep it under your hat that this might be what I call the "Tester Hand".

This is the hand that will really test your skills as a Poker player. The almighty, if you play it perfect, it still goes sour, hand.

Always be on the lookout for the "Tester Hand." Pay very close attention to it.

The Poker Gods throw this one in the separate the wheat from the chaff....The sharks from the fish...the (wo)men from the...(wo)boys

You get the picture?

Train the player

Years ago they had what was called train the trainer sessions for ....training a trainer.

I wonder if there is anyone out there who would train a player.

Instead of teaching me how to play poker, I'm up on that part, I would send them a video of a sit and go that I played and they would critique it and suggest ways or plays that would improve my game. Maybe we could swap videos and critique each other.

It would be interesting I'm sure, for the person observing the video... or could watching my game fool up theirs?

On a scale of 1 to 10

How would you rate YOU as a poker player?

Are you aware of the tells that you give off to another player when playing live? Are you staying in a hand too long or folding with a piece of the flop too early? Do you know what your hole in poker is?

 Are you a tight player always or too loose to ever make any money?

I rate me as a 1. Why, you may ask? (And I will assume you just did.)

Because I don't win often enough for the years I have played.

What is my hole in Poker? I think I am too tight. How can I improve? Loosen up a little? Tried it....lost more.

I am still searching for that aha moment and when I can put my finger on it, I will pass it on to you....

Yeah....right!

Mimicking your opponent as yourself

Do you remember when you first started playing live and you did all the things the books wrote about? You acted strong when weak, weak when strong and played your cards so scared that you almost wanted everyone to fold to your Aces. You couldn't keep up with the pace let alone get a read on your opponent . So much else to worry about, like "what are the blinds and what is the green colored chip worth." The days when you saw an Ace in your hand and one on the board and though you had the world soon evaporated.
Fast forward to reality. Oh, now you know how to feign weakness and strength and know when to fold Aces after the flop.
No book ever talks about walking in your opponents shoes or pretend that you are them walking in yours. I have started mimicking my opponents when they are in a hand with me...heads up. I watch the bet and say to myself. "If I was sitting in his seat, and made that bet, what would be MY purpose for betting that amount. Or, if my opponent looks away, I ask myself, "If was looking away in that seat, with that board, what would be my reason for looking away....and I base my reading opinions on my own "tells".
So there you have it. Have you done this or even better have you read this strategy anywhere else? If not send me a note....maybe we can patent it.

Sending your Ego from your Big Blind

Oh, don't say you don't do it... we all do. We are playing online poker and someone comes after our big blind...twice. You let your time clock run, knowing full well that you can't call his/her big pre flop raise. You think you're sending a message..."next time I'm calling your a**". Well, s/he pushes you again and again. Finally when you get fed up enough to call...s/he finally wakes up to a real hand.
The best time to send the message, if u think u are being "picked on", is as soon as possible. You just might get lucky enough to show everyone how you beat him with a mediocre hand from the big blind. The rest of the table might get the message and decide "I'm not getting tangled up with this nut".
Don't let em walk over you but make sure if you're going to take a stand, you're also prepared to take a walk.

AA versus DONK and Co.

There should never come a time in any poker game when a player looks down at Pocket Aces and gets a gut feeling of "defeated already", should there?

A pre-flop raise from the donkey under the gun and seventeen...well, five callers, each who want to bust that donkey out, will call.

You're in the big blind and you know as sure as there's dung in a burrow that you're re-raise will go unnoticed. What do you do? You know they all want to bust the donkey...

What do I do?

 I close my eyes, take a deep breath and dive in...there's always another hand, another game...another donkey.

Somewhere along the way there's also bound to be another pair of Aces.

Poker is all the rage...

If I could be a fly on the wall, equipped with a video camera, I would earn a great deal of money.

Couldn't we all...

Speaking of rage,Poker rage happens every few seconds online, and according to undisclosed sources, players will actually scream, yell and kick their laptops...I've been told.

"No!" I says to undisclosed source...."Oh yes", undisclosed source says to me.

Some of these are grown men and women mind ya. Can you just imagine?

On occasion, the Poker sites of the internet like to deal a great hand to two or three people at once. Watch out...this is where it gets down right u-g-l-y.

They go on a rampage...Poker experts call it TILT. I call it NTILT (not taking it lightly there).

This is where that fly comes in, dragging his little camera. I would upload this stuff to youtube or send off to America's Funniest Home Videos. Why, I would be rich in a year.

Hmmm...Come to think of it, maybe all I need is a webcam...